The Shame of Spoiler

I had a really excellent weekend chock-full of friends, making new maybe-friends--me, I know, it's so rare--and discovering that Fatburger is a frighteningly delicious place. I still cannot read the advertising for it, because I am in denial about my horrible eating habits. But it was really nice and I was vigorously reminded that I really should be getting out a bit more. And am regretting the snow which forced me to go home and miss out on New Home Viewing and movie-watching. And I need new shoes, because I am apparently wearing Mom Shoes.


In a nice, unified (aw, they're getting along) revenge strike against me having a social life and abandoning them to the devices of their father for several hours, both my spawn have runny noses. This is gross and anyone who thinks mothers are naturally immune to the disgusting attributes of their own children are wrong. Last night at the especially gorgeous hour of four in the morning I found myself surrounded by snot-sniffling, snoring, too-hot humans. What's more confusing is that this year, we've all gotten sick not once, not twice, but now three times. I'm not actually sick. I've apparently been the Lucky One this year (read: I will be coming down with some horrible disease soon that I can only hope will end me up in the hospital where I will get catering and a turn-down service). But everyone else has been getting sick and I am now almost convinced our new house is a Disease Monger and I am now having badly-plotted yet vividly paranoid fantasies about it killing us slowly.

Sometimes being a writer isn't the best thing.

Onwards to what actually pertains to the title of this entry.

I absolutely one hundred percent loathe the fact that Stephanie Brown might be alive. Loathe. From the bottom of my vicious, razor-edged soul do I loathe this. Unless I see a editorial/creator/whatever note someone can prove is from the time she died stating that they were planning to bring her back all along, this has clearly been done to appease the female masses over her hideously-crafted death because of all the angry Memorial Now! buzz and other nonsense. The worst part? The absolute worst and most embarrassing part of this horrible little gesture to make the cranky girls feel better?


What the SHIT, women?! Seriously?! This is like believing a half-drunk, uber-horny date when he says he'll stop WHENEVER YOU SAY SO! Jesus CHRIST on a pogo stick, where's the common sense?

Gee, thanks DC for bringing back Tim's dead girlfriend that he hasn't shut up about in years. Thanks so much for not bothering to make a believably stable teen female superhero, hey, don't fix the fact that Supergirl is an idiotic, time-traveling TWIT and Wonder Girl is a selfish, whiny asshat. Don't worry about Ravager's on-again-off-again characterization that makes her look like Super Bitch or Super Whore. And hey, seriously, don't worry about not putting Mia anywhere she can properly shine by herself. We totally understand that Stephanie Goddamn Brown was a way more important a factor to deal with. And I'm totally cool with M'Gann's future self having control of her, because as clearly demonstrated with all the other female teen heroines, they are so susceptible to mind control/invasion! Woot! (I'd complain about Batgirl, but that'd take forever).

Personally, I am so thrilled to see what Steph's gonna be like! Oh, hey, can she be under the manipulative control of Penguin? I totally haven't gotten tired of the teenage girls being controlled by men--and am also sorely disappointed that both Ravager and Batgirl got off Slade's Evil Man Juice so soon! Darn! That was so gripping. I was really looking forward to more of those plot points.

And oh, hey, I think I just threw up a little in my mouth! Whee!!


And shame on you, fellow breasts-havers, for being appeased by this sleight of hand magickery*. It's perfectly okay to be excited about the return of a character--personally, anything that makes Tim miserable makes me happy, because I'm twisted--but please, please do not congratulate DC on anything.

Also, don't let a guy bring you a drink from a bar.

*like trickery, but more Marvel-y.


qtilla said...

It's all good. I ditched them immediately after the house tour to go to a crazy tequila soaked party.

I mean uhm. I didn't make it to the actual movie section of the evening either.

Girl Friday K said...

Hahaha--mmm, tequila-soaking. It makes wet t-shirt contests fun and delicious! Never mind the blackout rages.

Now that you know where the new house is, we could have a massive showing of Uber Woman Maturity and TP it.

Elwood said...

Is that really Stephanie? Did they fake her death, and will they show that the character assassination of Leslie Thomkins was all part of the ruse to get Stephanie out of the picture?

I was actually more pissed about what they did to Leslie than Stephanie Brown kicking the bucket.

No one has uttered her name yet, and I haven't seen any articles confirming her return.

Maybe this is a Superboy Punch! we haven't learned of yet? A Stephanie from another Earth, maybe?

Sorry about the snot-nosed spawn (look out for Der Kindestod) and your lack of non-mom shoes. If it's any consolation, I hadn't noticed. Now, I'll just be staring at your feet all the time.

Evie said...

I'm trying flailingly to make sure I'm getting all the titles pertaining to this, just to see what ridiculosity they come up with--just in case I missed something, has there been anything enlightening since the last Robin issue where she's all "goodnight, Tim"?

And yeah, the mind control bullshit is bullshit.

Girl Friday K said...

Evie: Nothing specifically enlightening, so I could be jumping the gun so far as the massive irritation goes, but in the DC Nation column in December, where they put up Wishlists, having a memorial for Stephanie was crossed off by Didio as a can't do. If I'm right, you heard the rant here first. (if I'm wrong, there will be a retcon via magic).

But seriously, I would be really, really surprised if it isn't Stephanie, considering the internet flak DC's gotten and everything that is going on in the multiverses.

Also: If it isn't Stephanie, my call is it's his pissed off sort-of girlfriend what's her name.

And Elwood, I completely agree about Leslie's complete assassination as a character and am just as equally irritated about that. Toootally can't believe they killed two birds with one stone.

Wait, no, I can.