This Week's Read Pile, or: You Get Screwed, I Get Sparklers

Note: So I had half these typed up Weds night and then I figured I'd get to it during work on Thursday. And then Thursday was intensely busy (until Brian showed up, naturally), so I didn't get to it. And Thursday night I played Katamari and drank mojitos to celebrate getting through the hellish traffic. So really, nothing got done except swearing and rolling. And a lot of bad 'this is how I roll' jokes.

And then it was fireworks, margaritas, Magic and me unsuccessfully attempting to convince my friends they wanted to be a Tiefling Warlord or somesuch.

My friends clearly don't love me like they used to.

Also, we watched UFC and I'm pretty sure no one reading about comic books is also watching UFC except, uh, me, but let me take a moment to say: Forrest Griffin, you are the goddamn man. Not only can I not believe you lasted more than two rounds against Rampage Jackson, I can't believe you're the new belt holder. Also, it was an awesome five round fight and your stand-up has improved (and should improve more, if you'd like to keep that handsome new belt). Awesome. Super-impressed, I am. Watch out for Machida and Friends, you should.

More to the point, there's only . . . uh. Four reviews this week. Because it's Monday and you don't really care what I have to say, right?

That said, I'm starting with Batman R.I.P. (but only because this totally needs to go first. Screw salt and starch.)

Amusingly, I got texted about this issue and I got two 'wtfmycheese' e-mails. All of which are awesome, especially texting with George, because his what-the-fuckery is great (even if he forgets about me ::dies alone::).

Anyhow? I wasn't the only person that double-checked to make sure an issue didn't get missed in between this one and the last--good to know. Thanks to Bruce being shot up with drugs by Dr. Hush (right, that's his name) I can now employ the phrase "Batcrack" justifiably. Or "Batsmack". Wonderful. Because that's what my repetoire needed. Really!

My first thought after finishing this one was "wtf?" As was my second. My third read-through (really, this needed three?) was that Grant Morrison writes an awesome fucking trade comic. Maybe not so much monthlies, but I've seen much, much, much worse (even from the Batman line. War Games, anyone?). The issue's tempo reflects (sort of) Bruce's mindset--it's very disjointed, very off its ball and it's actually impressive an entire little story got told through the mood and pacing.

I'm a little irritated Nightwing got taken out off-panel, especially since the accompanying Nightwing wasn't a R.I.P. tie-in to show the off-panel shenanigans, but that's nobody's fault, really.

Tim Drake remains to be awesome. I wonder if he's sharing fashion advice with Jason?

Speaking of Jason, um, when's he showing up? Come on already, I want to see Morrison writing him. Very curious.

We get to find out Alfred's not dead (Realizing Its Pennyworth?! Redemption In Pennyworth??), no surprise, and more importantly: Mr. Fabulous Shoulder Pads has moved into the Batcave. Can you believe the set of platinum balls on this guy? Talking about making Bruce his butler?! Listen, man, as soon as Bruce sobers up and stops talking to his imaginary friend he's going to--

. . . sew himself a Zur-En-Arrh batsuit and pose with Batmite.


Right then.

Recomendation: I'm still dealing with the Zur-En-Arrh suit and trying to figure out why Morrison has the memory of an elephant after doing all those drugs. Seriously, Grant, um . . . my memory is a bit shoddy after all mine and I'm definitely not . . . aged. To that point. That you are. Just saying.

Hyperkinetic #1: Howard Shum writing and Matteo Scalera on art with Oscar Celestini doing colors. I liked it! I wasn't disappointed--and hey, there may be some complaints from other females about the girl banter, but I personally liked it. Seriously--have you ever lived with three women of the same age? That's what it's like. You know, I wasn't armed with an awesome gun or fighting crazy things on an alien planet, but it's the same theory.

I'm taking a moment to inform you all that no one has ever peed in my shampoo.

I thought the art was pretty excellent and fun and was insanely pleased to see very little gratuitous shots of the girls and the story is interesting and . . . yep. Solid. Totally solid and interesting and--dude, chicks with guns. Chicks with guns who know how to use them.

Recommendation: Pick this up, this four-issue miniseries will be an enjoyable one.

The rest of the comics I previewed . . . I pretty much liked. (Pssst, this is where the laziness kicks in). Except Astonishing X-Men 25, but I think that's just because Ellis was coping with the fuckery that was the Whedon run and just said, 'fuck it, we're jumping ahead in time because I'm impatient'. I'll definitely give this a few issues to even up, but beware of a lot of dialogue that has . . . pretty much nothing to do with mostly anything.

And that's IT, suckers. Hope you all had a happy fourth and didn't blow up anyone's house, blow off a thumb or drink yourselves intensely stupid.

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