This Week's Read Pile, or: Economy Sucks

First, did everyone pick up a copy of Locke and Key #2? Yes? Good. And how did everyone enjoy I Kill Giants? I know, right?!

Moving on, there's no specific comic review, since the economy blows and I opted to buy an AWESOME Megatron Mighty Mugg instead of my books (there was like, four this week anyway, I've cut back). And a copy of Mini Marvels: Secret Invasion with all art done by Chris Giarrusso. You and your kids will LOVE it, I highly recommend picking this up. Very clever, well done, funny and awesomely kid-friendly while still being entertaining for the Moms and Dads out there.

--spoilers for both Final Crisis and Secret Invasion, just in case you're that behind and there's also some spoilers (maybe?) about Batman Stuff--

So, I've been thinking about Final Crisis 'versus' Secret Invasion since we're pretty much all wrapped up on both now and the dust is . . . well, in some cases, still working on settling.

I think Secret Invasion did a better job. I don't think that Final Crisis did a bad job. I think that readers, when reading anything written by Grant Morrison, are intensely aware of all the levels he writes on. It's intimidating, even to people who 'get it'. It's awesome and brilliant. But readers are still going to be intimidated because they know how much they don't understand--there's a lot going on in these books, it isn't like Secret Invasion, where for the most part, what you read is what's going on and the themes and subplots and meaning behind it is pretty much out in front. This isn't to say it's simple, or written down, it's just a blunter style.

To approach my point, some people tend to react negatively when they're put in a situation where they feel stupid. Having to reread a series to 'get it' is frustrating for some and a treat for others. Remember how we're all different? Thought you might. This is what went 'wrong' with Final Crisis. In the fan's eyes, they feel it didn't cater to them since if you read such and such and so-and-so and what's-a-who-from-ten-years-ago it makes it a richer, deeper reading experience. Our wallets are a wee bit tight now and the idea of needing to buy four or so trades to feel 'complete' ticks people off. Even if Morrison said, repeatedly, 'No, seriously, you DON'T need to read all that if you don't want to', people felt forced by it, and this is in part a fault of all the 'tie-ins' to big event series. It's a form of 'event exhaustion' where people feel like they should have to pay for a few different books to get a complete view and while a good amount (shockingly good amount, actually) were really relevant, awesome tie-ins, some just weren't. Same goes for Secret Invasion, by the way, though they also did a pretty good job keeping it all relevant so far as I noticed.

Note: I absolutely think that you already should've owned those trades by Morrison.

It's interesting to watch people say 'Well, dude, nothing changed in Final Crisis and everything is different in Secret Invasion. Clearly Secret Invasion is the superior event'. I wonder if these are the same people who spend hours detailing why Star Wars/Star Trek is better than Star Trek/Star Wars.

Uh? What series are they reading? Aquaman's back (DUDE, THE AQUAMAN), Batman's lost in time, Superman can totally kick your ass doing Rock Band vocals, the Monitors are gone which means that the entire multiverse is going on completely unchecked, Mary Marvel sees the same flaws with Awesome Punky Hair that I do, Hawkgirl might love Hawkman this next time (I'd guiltlessly blackmarket my roommate's kidneys to be in a position to write that series, or maybe a 360), Barry Allen's back, the New Gods are gone-for-now-or-ever? and Martian Manhunter is dead. I probably missed some stuff as well, but that's what I can drum up off the top of my head.

But, when all the coins drop, I think that Secret Invasion delivered faster on the 'epic, world-changing totally-worth-your-cash event' than Final Crisis did. I like Final Crisis better, but in the end--and maybe it's the economy as well--people were frustrated by feeling like they needed Morrison's backstory, feeling like they needed to get absolutely everything in every issue to feel like they got their money's worth. It's easier to do with Secret Invasion, because like I wrote before, it's blunter.

If Morrison had written Secret Invasion, that's the one I would've liked better. I'll give you a minute to wrap your brain around the possibilities of that comic. I just love his stuff and all this Super Duper Hate for him is pretty silly. Which makes me think about Morrison's many Final Crisis related interviews, the tones and his opinions on the book, what he was trying to do with the book and so on, which leads to cutting some fans off because Morrison doesn't try to make excuses for writing what he wrote and isn't subtle about his frustration at having to explain the same thing a few different times. Is there a Morrison Remix out there, a la Christian Bale? Please?

People forget that it's actually okay not to get something completely, or they just aren't comfortable with knowing that, frankly, they're Not As MultiSmart As This Guy--this is a really deep story but on every single level, even the most shallow, there is a complete storyline being told. I really don't know a lot of writers who can do this. Alan Moore.

All in all, Secret Invasion and Final Crisis both really knocked it out of the park for me, and considering all the crap that I, and everyone else, are worried about right now: job, houses, cars, the future, having two wicked excellent stories shaking up the Worlds As We Knew Them for Marvel and DC is exactly what we needed.

Amusingly enough, I'm more excited about Marvel titles than I have been since they dropped the ball on the awesome No More Mutants deal a few years back. Expect to see more Marvel reviewed/discussed/whatevered here than before, so as far as my wallet's concerned, Secret Invasion succeeded. I went into the series making fun of SkrullsSkrullsSkrulls and left it being pretty impressed and satisfied with the results.

And here's hoping that both companies follow through on the punches those storylines delivered, because that's the real reason people get so goddamn amped up about them online. It's not the story, it's the effects of the story. We want new, we want it to stay the same, we want completely different we want it all safe and old we want we want wewantwewant. God, I'm glad I'm not Joe Quesada or Dan Didio. I'd've shot the lot of you and then made you apologize for it on national television.

So here's hoping people stop being such douchebags about one company or the other (I write, knowing full and well I'm still snotty over the Spider-Man Thing). For instance: Morrison announced on his part two Final Crisis Exit Interview at Newsarama that he's back on Batman in June (also, funny dig at DC about Batman's 'death')--and that he wants to write a multiverse story that may be out around 2010. Immediately the commenters disregarded all the events in the upcoming Battle of the Cowl event. Which is stupid. You're reading an action drama, people, isn't it all about the story and the awesome one-two punches? How is Battle of the Cowl in anyway obsolete just because Morrison is taking the reins back this summer? We all already know Batman's trapped in the past somewhere--what's important and awesome is that everyone thinks he's dead. What'll be cool to see is where everyone goes with that, how his boys change and what happens to Gotham in the meantime.

And in sticking with my New Years Resolution to approach things less fatalistically, I'm going to let my hopes puff up and see where they go with it. And this is an intensely mentally drifting post, since I'm still getting into my comic-writing-habits.

This whole spiel, by the way, was inspired by an awesome post that Jeff over at Alert Nerd wrote and posted this morning. Go there!

That Batman Movie

Uh, spoilers for TDK.

So, three weeks late and after probably literally everyone else, I saw The Dark Knight last night.

This was an intensely awesome film. This isn't really news to anyone and all the actors were phenomenal and I think Ledger's portrayal of the Joker was everything everyone said it would be. Actually, I lie--it was more. Way, way more.

I really, really liked it and I want to stress that, because as much as I liked it, wow gaping plot issues.

I think the Bushism complains I'm hearing are pretty off--it's my opinion that Nolan and Co totally did go there, but they did it in a way that shows how well technology like that can be used. How responsibly, by putting it into the hands of someone who is moral enough for it. On the grounds that it made Batman too right-wing, I just don't see it--the movie was way, way tamer than his OMACs--this Batman actually put up a failsafe for someone else to stop him. But I do, however, think it had no place in the second movie.

Batman's Super Control Freak could have been--and, in my opinion, should have been one of the villains in the third movie. I hear a lot 'how do you top ninjas and then Joker?'. Well, you do it by the inner struggle, not that a lot of popcorn-munching wham-bam movie-goers want to see it. So pair that with a physical villain and I think there could be a really great third movie. Two Face, perhaps? After all, we didn't see him go into the ground. . .

I think the Control Freak Radar System would've made an awesome villain, because it's one of Batman's biggest struggles is 'how far is too far for the greater good' and 'when does surveillance become tyranny'.

Against the Joker, a weapon so high tech just doesn't work for me. I wanted a more visceral show down between the pair--not necessarily a fight scene, but more of that play. Reducing that to show an aspect of Batman's inner conflict that had previously gotten five minutes of screen time was a large loss. The movie would have been much, much better if that idea had been held off until the third film--or if it was introduced towards the end as a build for the third.

The movie didn't go deep enough, and for a two and a half hour film I expected it to go pretty deep. While it definitely didn't get anywhere near the Spider-Man Problem of having way too much going on, it started to tread down that path. I don't think any action sequences would've needed to have been sacrificed--thus keeping the Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Director crowd happy--to accomplish a deeper, more thoughtful film.

All in all, I thought so much of that movie was a bit rushed--I had no idea the Joker saying once for Batman to unmask was such a big deal until twenty minutes later when Batman was angsting about it. I didn't feel particularly threatened by the Joker's demands until the judge and commissioner died. I think a lot of the development was shallow--why couldn't we see Joker waltzing into the hospital and planting the bombs or get a few glimpses of him working everyone behind the scenes? A lot of the main plot came across vague and confusing.

But fuck, did Ledger steal the show, imo. Good God, that was an amazing acting job--that scene in the police station? Totally gave me chills.

Maybe I'm being too picky--my husband laughed at me on the way home because of how I can't just enjoy something without thinking it to death.

I'm Not Always Happy When I'm Right

Sky Dolls #1 is something that everyone should pick up. I found it adorable, the art gorgeous and fun and the writing embracing and hilarious. The characters are instantly attractive and interesting, the plot heads along at a nice pace and I'm very much looking forward to the next issue. At least snag the trade, people, this is as entertaining as Outer Orbit was, while having a distinctly more interesting and complex plot.

For months and months I have been looking forward to the first issue of Burn, and last week (or this week, I can't remember) it hit the shelves. I really love Camilla d'Errico's work--I have way too many of her prints up on my walls and have no plans of stopping. She's a great talent (you can recognize her from Nightmares and Fairytales where she started as the artist on issue 19) and is extraordinarily interesting and nice to boot. Also very busy.

Anyhow, I really enjoyed the art. And the story concept. I also really enjoyed the execution of the art, but less the writing. It's a first issue and from what I know, it's Scott Sanders first venture into published writing, so I'll give it a little bit to even out. I hope it does, though, because it could play out to be a great little six-issue book. Sanders' writing isn't terrible, but it's definitely superfluous in parts and a little clunky. Camilla's art does an excellent job of explaining what's going on and how the reader should feel about it, so any dialogue or thought captions should be sparing and vital. Sanders is a terrifically nice guy who does have a definite love for the story and comics in general, so I really hope his writing evens out and he hits the groove that gets hinted at throughout the first issue.

If you like manga, though, I recommend this for a read. I rec it even if you don't, but the audience it'll appeal to is definitely manga-first.

Titans #2 is complete rubbish. I thought it couldn't get worse, because I am a fool, and Winick did an excellent job of proving me wrong. Don't bother with it. I'm not letting myself go any farther with that because of the next review, that turns into a commentary on writing in comics.

There's spoilers ahead. Rampant. Beware. If you haven't read Robin #174 and would like to remain in the dark, head off.

. . . so. First, I would like to refer everyone here. And if you're still falling for it, shame on you. I'm certain there are an insane amount of people ecstatically happy that friggin' Stephanie Brown isn't really dead and I'm just as certain I am not ever going to be one of them. I hate to break in on any sunshine-happy-days, people, but this just looks like another device. A badly executed one at that.

Welcome to my disbelief.

Would Batman really not mention anything to Tim as for his reasoning behind not having a memorial for Stephanie the Plot Device Wonder? Really? Are you sure?

Would Batman really just welcome Stephanie back with complete open arms after telling her she wasn't good enough?

Can someone please pretend that this is the goddamn Batman and remember that he would at least throw some crazy-assed psychotic trial-by-fire at her before taking her back?

Why are the backgrounds behind Stephanie are magically colored? If I see one more damn pink panel I'm throwing up.

Technically-speaking, the build-up for the reveal took too long. By the time I got there, any suspense was gone. The reception played flat. The conversations were stiff and uninteresting, Tim's thoughts were amazingly non-reactive and I can practically see all of their puppet strings. It was all so forced.

But hey, maybe she can join the Teen Titans and get into three-way bitch fights with Wonder Girl and Ravager. Note: If there could be more scenes of Tim getting handcuffed by Ravager, I'd be the happiest Friday ever.

I understand the great big temptation for bringing this character back--she got a raw damn deal the first time around, was treated like crap and was basically an accessory for Tim's Great Big Angst. Don't mistake me here, I love Tim's Great Big Angst. But here's what I would have really liked to see and would have written if ever given the chance: A new girl. Not Spoiler. A new Gotham vigilante with an interesting back story that isn't she was a) raped b)pregnant c) used/abused by a man/father d)daughter of a villain (I am beyond sick to shit of this plot background) e) a hooker. One or two of these options added in? Totally okay if it's done right. Just please don't saunter up to the Buffet Of Abuses and over-fill your plate, Male Writer.

Mistakes like Stephanie Brown need to be left in the past. Taking a perfectly decent female character and turning her into a device is bad enough, but taking that perfectly decent deceased female character and bring her back is even worse. This is compounding the problem in not only women written in comics, but how comics are written in general.

The dead should stay dead except in very rare and very moving and very shocking cases. The more "amazing" resurrections there are, the less believable deaths are. The less believable, the less impact will be had. The rest of the road should be pretty obvious. This isn't a new concept, nor a particularly brilliant one.

So why does it need to be pointed out again? Are comic book fans really so lacking in their palette that they need to have the same regurgitated tripe fed to them over and over until they finally swallow the worm? Has the idea well truly run dry? Is doing something truly new really so terrifying a thing?

If comic book fans are lacking in their palette this severely, I recommend doing a very ballsy thing: Screw 'em. Write what is good. It's an "If you build it, they will come" sort of situation. Comic book fans are addicts and while some may be lost in the transition, most will stay true-blue after their "ohmygodchange" panic attacks and new ones will quite likely stray over.

When writing, the more walls built, the less creative the writing. Dixon has certainly demonstrated this to us via Robin, but I am seeing it nearly everywhere, in nearly every comic book. There is a fear of stretching beyond the accepted norm, a fear of embracing new characters and truly giving them room to grow so that the readers may grow with them. And I mean truly, not panicking when the 'numbers' aren't there and canceling or sabotaging the book.

I believe for that every four old characters, there should be a new one. Or when one dies, a new one enters. Something to ensure that some fresh blood gets pumped into the universes we all adore so much.

If this doesn't start happening on a consistent, believable level, ten years from now the comic book industry will discover they have some serious problems.

As it is, they have some serious problems now and I think I'll return to what was supposed to be the point of this entry and table that discussion for another day.

Stephanie Brown! I can't over-emphasize how unbelievable I find this all to be and because of that, I am also finding it insulting. As a woman who voraciously enjoys comics, I don't actually need a reward cookie in the form of a resurrected plot device who I found to be really, really annoying to begin with.

I wish I was overreacting because of my emotional investment and knew that in a few months I'd calm down about this entire thing and not erupt like Vesuvius every time this was mentioned. I also wish that I liked Supergirl. Or that I could look forward to the upcoming return of a Batgirl book, who is undoubtedly one of my favorite newer characters. Or that Power Girl interested me at all. Or that . . . well, anything not Wonder Woman or Birds Of Prey goosed my Happy Feminist Zones (note to self: name a blog that one day). Even THEN, there's this whole Manazon thing that just has me nauseous.

Stephanie should've gotten a memorial, because it doesn't matter what some people think about it, she was part of the Bat Clan. Even if she 'married' into it and sort of pushed her way in, imo, in regards to how Batman ended up treating her. But missing a character or really, really, really loving a character doesn't and shouldn't give people free reign to bring them back willy-nilly.

Argh.

This week I've discovered that I must have tea with Devin Grayson and discuss subtext and eroticism in length with her. New personal goal.

Too Little, Too Late?

Last week imploded all over me. I'm not certain I'll ever get the messy Wednesday remnants completely out of my hair. Also not certain why my week imploded--aside from how when I got back to my house on Monday it looked like a complete disaster. My utter, complete shock was utterly and completely not there. On the up side, the kids didn't look like refugees who hadn't eaten or bathed in three days. But yeah, week implosion equals no blogging. I think I have all my ducks back in their appropriate rows. I think, at least.

Emerald City ComiCon was excellent, and blogged awesomely about here (scroll down to start at bottom) and here. I'm too lazy to string together full, cohesive paragraphs, so I'm going to list the awesome stuff out.

• handing out packets all day Friday and Saturday is an interesting way to achieve Zen. Repetitive action does wonders for the subconscious mind.
• Jeph Jaques? Freaking adorable. Also, constantly surrounded by a throng of girls. His girlfriend cannot be comfortable. She was quite nice, though, since she was the one who snagged the packet from me for their booth.
  
• The black jerseys all the senior staff got were completely awesome, even if they tended to put a huge bullseye on me whenever I attempted to escape to the bathroom on Saturday. Seriously--bathroom trips took no less than fifteen minutes and the bathroom wasn't more than a hundred feet from the registration booth.
• Notice To All Con Attendees: Information Booth doesn't mean I'll find your bus stop for you. It doesn't even mean I'll attempt to try. Information does not equal Seattle-Information.com.
• Dinner on Friday was accompanied with a bright green drink in a dual-faced tiki glass. He was very, very unhappy when he was empty. Weep. And it was almost as good as a mojito. Almost. So far, though, nothing's better than a good mojito.
• Quiana and I have almost exactly the same taste in foods. Except for . . . bak choi? Something--it's a weird mushy green vegetable that was not very delicious.
• Adding 'ish' to the end of directions prevents wrongness, according to Technogreek.
  
• I lose street cred when I want iced coffee instead of hot.
  
• Saturday morning-to-afternoon registration was insanely busy and chaotic, but overall it went really well. No big problems like last year and we managed to keep the line for check-in from getting too long. I might be insane, but it's also pretty fun. Even though lanyards are a special punishment from Hell.
  
• I learned that in case I need an extra hand at registration, Hotness is the first person I should find for help. She moves like a perky dervish without the destruction.
• I made a lot of awesome friends and was reminded that I really, really miss living in Seattle. Though there is awesomeness here in Puyallup that I need to contact and drag out for food and fun shenanigans.
• Wil Wheaton was insanely awesome to have at the show and everyone adored the crap out of him. He did completely break my heart by being super-popular and awesome and running out of books before I and a bunch of other volunteers could snag one. As soon as I recover, I'll still love him. Me? Masochist? Shut your mouth.
• Ed Brubaker's wife is beyond nice. And really funny and polite and oh, right, super-nice.
• Having dinner with a bunch of other volunteers on Saturday, exchanging funny stories and getting to know them better completely made my oh-so-pained feet feel better. As did the alcohol.
• We were walking back from said delicious dinner and got almost-accosted by a lady who really did look like she was from Walking Dead (she looked like she'd escaped from the hospital, as she was still wearing the gown and had various sores all over and was very, very, very thin. Very.) as observed by FerretNick. I was startled (and reminded that maybe I need to up my expectation standards) by Technogreek's awesome chivalry when he walked between me and the terribly sad and creepy Walking Dead lady. Much appreciated. Less appreciated are the doctors/nurses/terrible security persons who let her out of the hospital.
  
• FerretNick, Dr. Zoltar and their wives-who-have-no-blogs-but-should are really awesome. And hilarious.
  
• I'm too Irish.
• Having people freak out at me regarding the whereabouts of talent is not awesome. Having George effectively take care of pest problems with more politeness than I've seen in months while still saying 'Hell to the no, thanks for trying'? Definitely awesome.
  
• Freak outs over who got handed the check-in packets for booths? Not awesome. This means you, group of females I won't name who unsuccessfully attempted to drag me into their group drama over what turned out to be nothing. Note to you: remember high school is over!
• Suicide Girls? Awesome and really very nice, most of them.
  
• There were a pair of men who entered into the costume contest who were clothed in whitey tighties and suspenders. Nothing else. They blew glitter at people and one lit their other's chest hair aflame. And they needed a tan.
• The pinnacle of Creepy Basement Nerd asked to take a picture of my hair. From the back. While I was sitting down. This fetish is . . . indefinably creepy.
• I got stopped and thanked a lot for assistance I didn't always remember giving, but thanks to the blue-purple-etc hair, I know I wasn't easy to confuse with someone else. Also, they usually stopped me by name.
• Tim Sale prints sell like good street drugs.
• I forgot my sketchbook. Not. Awesome. At. All. Got no sketches. Also didn't remember to bring the few comics I stashed aside to get signed. Next year, I will not be forgetting any bags.
• Sunday, at the post-show dinner, Quiana and I were table hunting and I spotted one of our regulars at The Stop, Shane, and his boyfriend, the awesome and really very nice Steve Sadowski sitting, so I beelined over there because a) they're great and b) I was feeling way, way too much like a twelve year-old trying to find a cafeteria table. We sat down and there was the uber-fun FerretNick sitting with someone else who I spent fifteen minutes trying to drum up the name to go to the face, knowing I knew him and finally got some whisper assistance to get the job done. Thank you FerretNick. So, it was totally Phil Jimenez, who I totally adore and totally had Infinite Crisis and a few from his run of Wonder Woman in the Forgotten Bag Of Doom to get signed. I'll drop the word 'totally' now, but not awesome. There was really excellent conversation with all of them centering around comics and even dropping over to soap operas and it was all really, really awesome. I loved tossing around words with them and hope next year I'll get an opportunity to do it again. And? Phil is really, really one of the nicest guys in comics. And adorable. He gave me some really wonderful advice about breaking into comics via the written word that I'm beyond appreciative for too.
  
• Monday morning I got to revel in not having to get up at four am to drive people to the airport. I did have two very talkative backseat passengers at seven, though, one of whom took advantage of the fact that I missed him to hit me up for McDonald's pancake breakfast. Bratling.
• Being sad in front of Palindrome disturbs him. Even if he forgets about it entirely later.
  

I'm very certain I'm missing a few tidbit stories that'll occur to me later, but I think that's the highs and the lows. Overall, ECCC is definitely one of the highlights of the year for me, it was a lot of fun and the guys ran the best show yet this year.

I think that's long enough of a post. Welcome to my over-compensation for not posting at all last week.

Also: I think I'm sad. I'm not sure why and it's strange because I am very, very, very rarely sad. It's also annoying.

. . . really?

Okay, here be Buffy Issue 12 Spoilers! Um . . . Yarr! (it seemed fitting and I've got a Pirates obsession going on right now. Something, btw, that could make a perfect segue into Buffy if I was into segues!) But I'm not. Though seriously, if you haven't read 12 by now, you probably don't care--but may still consider yourself warned.










Okay! Anyhow.


I'm seriously surprised that anyone who has been reading Buffy is shocked by her getting groiny with Satsu. Seriously, do those people even pay attention to Whedonverse? It isn't a push for attention from Goddard, it isn't shock value, it isn't . . . anything other than "Whoo! Buffy got laid!" Longtime Buffy fans may understand my exasperation with the fact that the whole damn world STOPS every time Buffy gets some. Enough, people!

No friggin' kidding she shacked up with a slayer who's got the hots for her. What a surprise! Wow! Except not really at all, but okay.

But really, let me express my absolute disgust at everyone's stupid fixation and how they missed the best thing about this whole Issue. Let me express it in a letter:


Dear Drew Goddard,

I think I love you. I know I missed you. Terribly, actually, and I'd like to personally thank you for giving me one of the funniest Post Sex Bedtime scenes ever and paying Xander some awesome, awesome One Eye Joke service. I'd offer to have your babies except I think my husband would get tetchy. BTW: Cloverfield was absolutely terrific, it took me right back to being a little girl and watching King Kong with my grandfather and being thrilled to bits over it, which really is one of my favorite childhood memories. Also, yelling "Run, GODDAMMIT, RUN! If the RATS are RUNNING PAST YOU, that means SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES!!!" is always a good time in my house.

Again, though, I missed you. Terribly. I'd also like to take this moment to request that you please don't forget to officially out Andrew and take a few panels(pageswhatever) to emphasize his awesomeness.


Possibly Love,

Kristina


There. See, people? The important thing for Buffy 12 wasn't obsessing about Buffy getting all hip-to-hip and walking through the wilderness, it was DREW DAMN GODDARD being fantastic and writing. PAY ATTENTION!!! Christ! All this "oh noes, Buffy's a lesbos?!" nonsense is ridiculous. That's not what matters and Whedon doesn't even want it to matter. It's another ingredient in the Buffy Cookie Dough, so eat it or just shut up and watch it bake, dammit.

Joe Quesada is an Idiot

I've been waiting for a while for that First Post Inspiration to strike me, and as you can see by the title, it's struck.

Let me just say right now I'm not a big Marvel fan--there's the X-Men, depending on who's writing them, and that's pretty much it. But I do know the generalities of everything that's going on (Captain America is still dead and all the plot evils are either Skrulls or magic). So I also know the whole Brand New Day mess that Joe Q put together and I've been following his interviews where he defends/explains it.

Here's my disclaimer: I clearly know nothing about Joe Q's marriage, but I am going to build some natural assumptions based off how he's treated the institution via comics and what he's said in interviews.

During panel questions at Mega Con, as reported by Newsarama, Joe Q. said this: “My wife is okay with me saying this now — but my life before I was married was much more interesting than after I got married,” adding, “I didn’t have the stability that marriage provides — and that kind of stability can lessen the options of writers when engaging Peter Parker/ Spider-Man in his life and adventures. Spider-Man is much more interesting when the chance for more stories that create more conflicts can be achieved.”

. . . this is more ridiculous than a bag full of high weasels. So let's address it!

Joe Quesada, you're an idiot of the highest level. If your marriage is that uninteresting and therefore boring, I think you need to either get a divorce, introduce kinkier, crazy sex (see: swinging) and date nights or seek a marriage therapist. I remember being single, all footloose and fancy free, and it was an insane amount of fun. As is marriage in a completely different way and for completely different reasons. Astonishingly, you jackass, married couples still have a lot of fun--both together as a unit and seperate as their own people. As adults mature, which is a fact I assume you've heard about at some point in your life, they change and want different things. Stability, Joe Q., is not a death sentence. It is a different mode of living and it does not mean that things have to get boring, it really only means that you know who you're boning that night. Astonishing! Amazing! That's so UNCANNY!

(pardon that, I couldn't resist)

That is the worst excuse given for bad writing I have ever read and if the Marvel writing staff honestly cannot think of interesting things to do for a married man who is a superhero during such a volatile (theoretically) time in that 'verse, they all need to resign. Posthaste.

This, people, is what is wrong with the goddamn industry. While Joe Quesada and Company are busy living vicariously through Marvel's heroes because their marriages are terrifically uninteresting, they are slaughtering characterization to suit their needs, excusing shoddy writing for the sake of gaining/keeping/whatever a wide fanbase and yet again lowering the writing bar in the industry.

Yes, kids, you too could grow up and write comic books and if things get too hard or too difficult, just magic/Skrull/Superboy Prime punch/whatever it away! There's no reason to stick to any guns here, there's no reason to do a job that you've been hired to do and be an original, creative force! Pshaw! That's so ridiculous! Just magic it away, ignore the annoyed (and clearly idiotic) fans that resent mischaracterization and foolishly expect people/characters to behave like themselves in situations and START OVER! Fabulous! Because what you're doing here, what you're really doing when you work in the comic book industry, is keeping a wide fanbase (this means money, kids!!) and living vicariously through your writing due to your boring marriage. Good luck!

I have to move on from what he said about the marriage before I blow a gasket.


"If we keep Spidey rejuvenated and relatable to fans on the horizon, we can manage to do that and still keep him enjoyable to those that have been following his adventures for years. . . . At the end of the day, my job is to keep these characters fresh and ready for every fan that walks through the door, while also planning for the future and hopefully an even larger fan base." --Joe Q in a CBR interview.

. . . *headdesk* See. Okay. I understand this--I really do. It even almost makes sense if you take away ALL of his other comments on this issue and how horrendously and messily executed this storyline was. I understand the desire to keep a character fresh. I also understand keeping characters relatable. I agree with these desires and wants, it's one of the ways writing gets sold, it's how characters become popular and interesting. We don't run around in silly outfits saving the day, naturally, but we want to relate to the people who do.

Joe Quesada was almost not wrong here. Except for how he really, really was. If there is a question about a character not being relatable anymore to new, incoming fans (which there was), then what needs to occur--instead of MAGIC and pithy reasoning--is, drum roll please, THE INTRODUCTION OF A NEW CHARACTER.

Amazing! Astonishing! UN-FRIGGIN'-CANNY!!

Listen up, brain trust, when a decision is made to 'settle down' a character via marriage, I think that you are stuck with it. Now this isn't to say something better than magic could've occured to dissolve the marriage--I'd wager that's something a talented writing team and a smart editor could've come up with--but plenty of interesting things could've gone on. Marriage isn't a death sentence and personally, I don't appreciate that message being broadcast, thanks so much. I also think that instead of bitching out and magicking something away, a brand new character could've been introduced. Someone those young, happenin', non-boring kids could relate to!!

And damn, look at how I didn't get off the Marriage Isn't Boring train.

Really though, instead of screwing over an old character, why can't a creative team muster enough creativity to introduce someone new and fun and excellent for all those incoming wallets--er, I mean fans--to satisfy Joe Q.? How come Spiderman being thirty (right?) and living in Auntie's attic is more awesome than, oh, him actually having something to LOSE? Also, I better be hearing about Mr. Parker/Spidey living the ultimate, swinging bachelor lifestyle.

This isn't an I Hate Marvel post either--uncreativity is cycling through both DC and Marvel. Lowering the bar to make things easier for writers isn't okay. It shouldn't even be an option. Introducing old ideas/villains isn't the worst thing ever, but consistently falling back on what seems easiest is a cop-out and does a disservice to the standards of this industry.

Joe Q. isn't just an idiot for all the reasons I said above, he's also one because he clearly doesn't understand that when you are Editor-in-Chief of a powerhouse publication, you should keep raising the bar for whoever is going to come after you, not leave a big mess and low standards to follow up on.

I guess none of this is important in the face of what appears to be the easier path--why would someone in Marvel go through all the trouble of creating a new, dynamic character? That's what the independent comic books are doing, after all! And golly, who reads those?

I think I'm spent.